The Dawning Of A New Era

On Thanksgiving, we ran a 5K turkey Trot, and by we, I mean ALL of us. It was the boys' first 5K, and they did great. I was so proud of them both.

We started all together and then D and I took off while The Dude stayed with G. I let D lead the pace though I pulled us back just a bit - he's very fast but doesn't yet have the experience of running longer distances at speed. (He's covered this distance before but only on slow runs with the Dude.) But even though I could tell he was working hard he stayed at it, only taking a few short walk breaks now and then. As we came up to the finish line I gave him permission to go ahead (along with a couple of notes on race finish etiquette) and he took off!

I'd been a bit worried about G as he'd never done anywhere near this distance before, not running, so we looked for them once we turned at the halfway mark. We saw them, G was sprinting ahead and then walking and The Dude was trying to keep up with him on the sprints... G is getting to be quite fast as well. They were both beaming.

And here they are crossing the finish line as well.

It was a beautiful day for it, cold but bright, and a great first family race. I'm hoping we have a new tradition.

And then there's the Ravenswood Run in the spring!

Proud mama,
Annie

Soldier Field 10M 2016 Recap

This was a good race, one I enjoyed greatly. Everything about the day seemed to flow. I woke early with my gear already prepared - which meant I had time to deal with some last minute changes without panicking. I forgot my watch at home - which meant I didn't pay overly close attention to my pace and could run based on feel. (This became important since it was a very humid day.) I chose and timed my fuel and hydration well enough that my energy stayed high and I avoided having to take a break during the race. I ended up in a corral somewhat faster than I meant to run (since I was overconfident when I registered for the race) and so I very quickly ended up as "back of the pack" - but that meant I never had to deal with overcrowding, which can be a real problem on that course.

Some little pleasures about the day:

• Roses in the road dividers so as we ran by I could smell flowers;
• I walked the long way back to the train and ended up seeing the entry procession for a Hindu wedding - complete with bridegroom entering by horse (and everyone bedecked with embroidery and sequins);
• The wind that never picked up into a storm but instead gave much needed breezes throughout;
• A seat on the train both there and back, allowing me to read Ed Roberson's City Eclogues as I traveled above a similar city.

The course, briefly:

I made myself run miles 1-5 easily, breathing through my nose to keep my speed down. It was a humid day and I knew I needed to be careful not to go too fast. We were running on city streets south from the Museum Campus for this stretch, with lots of room. I took walk breaks at every mile and sipped my sports drink.

Gel break at mile 5, shortly after turning onto the lakefront path and heading back north. I put music on at this point - I have a special running mix of more "trance-like" music, also meant to keep me from running too hard - and didn't worry about my breathing at this point anymore.

At mile 7 it began to feel hard. I think I took a couple of extra water breaks in this mile.

At mile 8 I switched to more uptempo music.

There was no clock reading at the 8 mile marker. I had not been tracking my time vigorously but I knew my approximate pace and also knew the time I would need to come under if I was to finish in 2 hours (my "B" goal). I tried to just stay constant at this point.

(My "C" goal was just to finish - I've had to DNF due to humidity before and didn't want to again. So many people walking the last two miles in.)

At mile 9 I saw that if I could bring my pace down to 11:00 for the last mile (and I knew I'd done at least one mile at this pace already), I would be able to make my "A" goal - to finish under 1:55:00. I found a good song and kept replaying it (Queen's "Somebody To Love", the live version from Montreal). I felt strong but was careful still, I knew we'd see the stadium long before we actually entered, and because they were setting up the stage for the Beyonce concert that evening, I knew we'd need to wind through the stadium a bit before hitting the finish line. You don't want to give a final last push only to realize you still have another quarter-mile to go.

And it all worked out, because I finished under 1:55:00, feeling like I'd given it all I could. (I found out later I'd finished in 1:54:10, a 11:25 pace.)

So I was quite pleased, with my planning and with my day. It wasn't until later, when I found out my actual time and pace, that I remembered that I'd run this at a 9:25 pace last year, exactly two minutes per mile faster. And I was still pleased, because I'd run the race the best I could for that day, and it didn't matter what I'd done before.

And there was an odd satisfaction in that as well. I've wondered, what will it be like to race when I start slowing down? Right now I still have hopes of getting back to my previous speed, but I also know that I'm approaching the edge of my being able to improve my times. But this race showed me that it will all be okay - that I'll be able to enjoy competing against myself even as I slow down.

So now I have my eyes set on a 10K in August and one of my favorites - the Hot Chocolate 15K - at the end of October. I think this will all make for a very satisfying race season.

With pleasure,
Annie

Soldier Field 10M - Race Report (Two Months Late)

Well, this report comes only two and a half months after the race, not too bad, right?

I had been watching the weather the week before this race, hoping it would stay cool. While it wasn't too bad, when I stepped outside in the morning I barely needed my extra pants and sweatshirt - not a good sign. And by the time I stepped into the start corral the air was warm, a nice day for a walk but not for a race.

I had a light bowl of cereal and a cup of tea, and brought coffee for the road along with half a banana. I also brought plenty for pre- and mid-race fueling: a Vega gel, half a package of Clif Bloks, a GU. Once I got there I still didn't want to take much in so I decided to trust in the carb-loading I'd been doing, had the Clif Bloks right before the start along with a little water, and tucked the GU into my pocket for during the race. 

• Mile 1: A good start - the corrals were well organized and things felt smooth. I felt I had a good pace. (9:34)
• Mile 2: I sped up a bit more than I meant to, I could tell I wouldn’t be able to sustain that the whole way and could burn out too early. I started trying to pull back. (9:00)
• Mile 3: Still a bit too quick. (9:08)
• Mile 4: I took my first water and walk break and used it to adjust my pace. (9:32)
• Mile 5: Right on pace. Then a big downhill! (9:01)
• Mile 6: Halfway done. Then the terrain changed as we moved from streets on to the lakefront path. It became more crowded and the footing less even. I stopped to walk and have my GU. (9:59)
• Mile 7: It was getting hot but I kept keeping steady, or so I thought. When it’s hot it takes more effort to maintain pace, so really I was slowing down. (9:41)
• Mile 8: Mistook an early unofficial water stop as my planned one and took another water break, then wondered why this mile felt so long. It became even harder to move - I started to weave between people more. (9:38)
• Mile 9: Another slower mile, between the people and the heat. (9:40)
• Mile 10: I realized I was going to have to pull it all out in the last mile if I wanted to make my goal – and I did want to – and I did. (9:05)

 Final time: 1:34:08 (9:25 pace). Positive split.

I was proud of myself and everything I did to make this happen: training, taper, fueling, my pacing on the course (not perfect but improved from past races). I was happy to use this result to determine my paces for the marathon training.

And still...

I wasn't that much faster than what was predicted for me, based on my training plan for this race - but my paces on tempo runs and speed workouts were consistently faster than what the plan called for (I was running more distance too). I felt I could have gone faster. 

We’re always looking to improve, right? That’s okay.

I basically ran this at the same pace as my last race (the Hot Chocolate 15K last November), which was only a little bit shorter. My training would have suggested that I improve my time more... so why didn't I?

Some ideas:

1. I was carrying about ten more pounds on me than when I ran the Hot Chocolate 15K.
2. It wasn’t a hot day, but it was warm, and the effects of that will show up over time (especially when carrying extra weight).
3. My pacing throughout could have been better.
4. There was a lot of back and forth from the pavement to the shoulder during the second half. I would have done better to have stayed on the pavement except for when going downhill.
5. I could do still more to push myself – I’ve improved with time and experience but I could still do better.

At the same time I enjoyed every moment of this race, even when it was painful. And there were a couple of special moments that I will remember:

Having the opportunity to fly down trails on the side of the course a couple of times during the second half. We had a few downhills and the course was crowded at those times - plus when running downhill I prefer to run on dirt, it’s easier on my legs. Almost no one else was doing so and it felt great to fly by people, hurtling down the hill, leaping over uneven spots and just letting it rip. Flying. I have dreams about running sometimes and they have this same sort of feeling.

I came up alongside a dear friend – I didn’t know she was running this race and it was such a pleasure to see her. One look at her face and I could see she was struggling (and didn’t want me to stop or slow down for her), so I left and then waited for her at the end and grabbed her and helped her get what she needed. We hung out together after the race and then took the train home together. I only see her a few times a year but she is a deep friend and it was such a blessing to see her at this.

Overall, a great day and a great race. And now…

Soldier Field 10M - 16 Hours and Counting

Oh, yeah, I'm running a race tomorrow. The Soldier Field 10M.

I've run it before, but I was a few months pregnant then, and just interested in running it smoothly.

I am actually taking this very seriously. I have been careful not to do too much during taper, and even trying to carbo-load (I hate carbo-loading). I have been making my plans for my schedule and for transport and for fuel. I have my playlist and have even had time to fine tune it. I have been watching the weather very closely (it should be okay that early in the day). I have eschewed my usual dark chocolate break today so I might have no trouble going to bed a little earlier tonight.

My "A" goal is to run at a 9:25 pace. My A+ goal is to run faster. I don't have a B or C goal - just to enjoy myself if it's clear I won't be able to make my other goals. I plan to start just a little slower than goal pace and run as my splits as evenly as I can. My times on this will determine my training paces for my marathon training, which I start next week, so really, I just want to start out strong and push myself to keep going, regardless of how I feel (barring injury, of course).

Time to go pick up my packet and then get off my feet.

See you on the other side,
Annie

Baby, It Was Hot Outside (2014 Chicago Women's Half Marathon - Aug. 31)

Clearly this is long overdue. I haven't seen hot weather in a while! I've been finding it useful to me to go back and read reports of past races when preparing for new ones. Since I had taken notes on this race right after the event and just never managed to post them (perhaps because I was, oh, moving), I thought I'd go ahead and finally throw these out there. Perhaps they will be useful to you too.

Here's the link to when I was preparing for it. In it I mentioned planning to run with a pace group and figuring out my hydration/nutrition, along with my goals and in general hoping for an fun experience. In reviewing my notes I see that I addressed all of these concerns, so...

I lost my pace group almost immediately. I had been thinking to try for a 10:30 minute/mile pace (for a final time of 2:20) but then by mistake I locked in with the 2:30 group. By the time I realized this I couldn't catch up. It felt better to run on my own anyways, it always does.

I felt I got my fuel/hydration down pretty well:

• 2.5 hours before I had tea and my Emergen-C;
• 2 hours before I had oatmeal, a banana, and coffee (all this in transit);
• 1 hour before I had half a Clif Bloks package and sips of water;
• In the last half hour before the start I chewed some gum for a dry mouth but didn't take in any water;
• I had two 10 oz. bottles of Tailwind in the chest pockets of my racing vest.

This plan worked well since I didn't have to make any pit stops on the course. I had some tummy tenderness during the last half of it (probably from the heat as much as anything else) but nothing unmanageable.

I knew with the heat and humidity I was going to have to take walk breaks every mile (rather than every other mile as I usually do at this distance), to give myself moments to cool down and so I could get more fluids in. I drank Tailwind at those breaks so had a steady intake of carbs during the race. As it turned out I didn't like having the bottles on my chest (I had even written about this with a previous race but didn't remember). When I run to work the chest bottles are balanced out by the stuff I'm carrying in the back pouch so I don't really notice them, but during a race I really notice the extra weight in front. I don't like using a hydration bladder (I just feel stupid sipping through a tube), so I'm going back to experimenting with gels for races, since I should always be able to access water on the course.

This race was billed as the first opportunity to run "The Magnificent Mile". Meh. I see these streets every day so it wasn't the thrill for me that it might have been. It felt the same as running downtown during the marathon. I didn't really like the activities structured around the race this year (a fashion show and black dress gala). It no longer feels about women's empowerment - we're all getting healthy together! - and more about women as consumers. I have very much loved this event in the past but since the new time (end of August) is also not a great time for me in the year (things get busy at work and school is about to start for the boys) I think I will sadly give this one a pass in the future.

I started the race with music but it jut didn't feel right so I turned it off until mile 7. Then over the last six miles I repeatedly tried to pick up my pace - and kept not being able to do it. I tried again with four miles to go... then again with two miles left... and then over the last mile I had to walk up the hills and resume running going down or on the straights. It was so frustrating - I can almost always push at the end and this time I just could not do it. Not even on the last stretch coming in to the finish line. Then I hit the finish line, stopped, and immediately felt chilled and sick. So it must have been the heat.

Official results: 2:17:48 total. 10:31 pace.

The first mile was 11:00 and then I was pretty much between 10:20-10:25 for miles two through eleven - I must have slowed down more than I thought in those last two miles. I was only 1:07 away from a PR - could I have found that on the course? The heat and humidity were out of my control. My training leading up to it, however, was more in my control, and it was not the best - I had missed a few long runs and endurance runs. I don't think that could have been avoided given what the rest of my summer was like, but I can't fall short on the training and then still hope for a PR

Could I have found another 30 seconds out there, just enough to lower my pace to 10:29? It doesn't really matter... but that I can even think that way shows me the power a number can have. Silly, but true for most serious runners I've found.

So, going back to my goals for this race, yes, I think I ran a strong and smart race given the weather conditions and my training. And yes, this race is well enough organized and I like the course enough that the actual experience of it is worth doing. But did I have fun? Was it exciting? Would I do it again? Not at the moment, no.

But never say never when it comes to races.

Non, je ne regrette rien -
Annie

Baby, It Was Cold Outside (2014 Hot Chocolate 15K Race Recap)

Oh, what a cold day it was.

I decided to arrive late to avoid a long and cold wait in the 1st start wave. (With over 40,000 total race participants they had 20 different start corrals divided into two waves.) I didn't know for sure if it would work out to do so - if I would be allowed to move into a different corral or  have to wait till the very end instead - but it also allowed me to leave the house later. I like leaving the house at 5:35 a.m. instead of 5:10.

I had an extra pair of pants with me to wear on the way there and for afterwards, and a hoodie to throw away at the start (all throwaway items get collected and donated to local charities).

I've been more carefully timing my nutrition and liquids before races since reading Matt Fitzgerald's book "The New Rules of Half-Marathon Nutrition", both to make sure I have enough fuel for the event and to avoid needing a porta-potty during it. I ate my usual oatmeal with raisins and walnuts at home before leaving, with a small cup of coffee (if I'd left earlier I would have brought these with me and eaten them in transit). Then I brought just enough water with me to wet my mouth occasionally and to take with a Vega gel fifteen minutes before starting, and gum to chew on right before the beginning if I felt thirsty. For this race I didn't need to worry about super-hydrating the day before, since it was cold and not so long.

I got to the race site and found a porta-potty. Once I was there and could see what the weather conditions by the lake were like, I swapped out my usual running hat for a beanie so I wouldn't have to worry about my hat being blown off if we encountered serious wind (which we did).

It was well organized this time (I've done it three times before and each time there was something poorly planned). No lines at gear check, barely a line at the first porta-potty visit and NONE at the second, amazing. With no one else to worry about I took my time at the second porta-potty stop, taking a little shelter from the wind.

I walked over to the race corrals and then continued walking around the park, I didn't want to get in a corral any earlier than I needed to and wanted to just keep moving so I could stay relatively loose and warm. Once I was sure the first wave of corrals was closed and the race had started (so I wouldn't be directed to enter my actual, assigned corral, the last one of that wave) I started walking over to the 2nd wave to see if I could get into the first corral there. No problem! I entered 5 minutes before the official closing time (for a wait of 25 minutes before starting vs. a hour) and was even able to move right to the front. Sweet.

The announcers did a good job of keeping us entertained while we waited and the race officials did a good job of keeping us moving forward, reminding people to move to the side if they slowed down or stopped for water, and not to run more than two abreast, and then we were off.

I started quickly and wondered if maybe I was going too fast, but figured I'd check myself at the mile splits and see if I needed to adjust. There were also a couple of downhills right at the start as we went under streets and so I just went with the flow. I had turned on my Garmin, not to keep strict account of my mile splits but more as a timer. I compared their time against mine when I hit the first mile so I would know approximately when I crossed the starting line and how fast I took that first mile. It was a good thing I wasn't relying on my Garmin since we spent a chunk of time underground during that first mile and it doesn't handle that well, though it seemed to have adjusted itself by the end of the second mile.

So first mile done, okay, finished that in just over 10 minutes. All right, if I can keep this up with no bathroom breaks, and then push it at the end, I should be able to to break 1:30 overall. But better still would be to make every 5k split under half an hour.

When I race, as I pass each mile marker I set myself a clock goal for the next one, based on how fast I took the first mile and what my overall goal is. So for instance, in this race, I crossed the first mile marker at 55:40. Knowing I started at 45:16, I set myself a goal to cross the next one at 1:05:40 or sooner. And so on and so forth. And then I don't think about the rest of the distance much, just that next mile. If I go over (or under) my goal in that next mile I still give myself the full amount for the one after that - I don't start making adjustments to each individual mile goal until I'm a ways in and can more accurately gauge how I might perform going on.

Anyway, first mile done, going fast but not uncomfortably so. (I can still clearly remember the first time I ran a mile in 10 minutes and what an amazing thing it was to me. And how much effort it took!) Can I keep this up? I'll have to - and then some - if I want to make my goals. So I kept on for another mile. And then another. And then I was fully warmed up and crossing the first 5k in just under 30 minutes and I thought, I really could do this.

The course started in Grant Park, went north and underground to head over to the Loop, then south on Clark St., then jagged over to Michigan and then again to Lake Shore Drive where it stayed until heading over to the lake and then turning back north. There were some odd in-and-outs to make up the total distance so some tight turns, and it eventually ended by going around Soldier Field and the Museum Campus (the west side of the campus - the hillier side) and then back into Grant Park.

I'm pretty familiar with much of this terrain so there was nothing noteworthy per se. There was a lovely sunrise over the lake when I arrived at the park in the morning. It was interesting to see some bits of the South Loop that I hadn't before, especially the Columbia campus. And I knew the last mile would be surprisingly hilly and hard. So while I enjoyed my surroundings, my focus was on keeping as steady a pace as I could.

At mile 5 I took a walk break and had my second Vega gel. I'm still trying these out - I love the taste, and they go down easily, but the texture is a little gritty and I think I would want to switch things up if needing more than one gel. Any recommendations for vegan gels? I don't like Clif Shots. GU works well for me but their amino acids are from animal sources. I did just see that their VP of research and development was featured in the latest Runner's World (former Olympian Magdalena Lewy Boulet) - I may write to suggest they find plant sources for their amino acids to make them vegan friendly.

I took walk breaks at miles 2, 5 (for the gel), and 7 miles. I think these breaks make a lot of difference in being able to maintain a consistent effort - they refresh my legs, changing up the muscles used. I don't ever walk for long, maybe a minute, tops - but it's enough. And all the while I kept an eye out for those mile markers. I kept coming in consistently under 10 minutes, sometimes by a little, sometimes by a lot.

The second 5k split came and seemed pretty even to my first, maybe a little faster, so I knew unless the wheels fell off completely I would be able to make my 1:30 goal. And potentially then some! I was still feeling good but aware of the hills coming up which would slow me down, so I started speeding up a bit, both to bank some time against those hills and to see how much under 1:30 I could potentially go. I started passing people more deliberately and going down the hills more aggressively to get my legs used to the quicker turnover. It started getting a little crowded on the course, at times I had to push past people especially at the bottom of hills when I was going fast and couldn't easily slow down to avoid them. Watching the miles move by at closer to nine minutes pace than ten.

Then the last mile, with all those uphills. My goal here was just to keep moving, to keep a steady effort and not to worry about speed. Only a mile, now, only a mile. It was the longest-feeling mile on the course, though.

And then I was at the mile 9 marker, and there was the straightaway to the finish line just after (somehow it was still a very long feeling three-tenths of a mile). Could I pick it up again? Yes, I could! Once I got started I was just going too quickly to stop and had to push through two people running close together - a quick "Sorry!" and then through.

And then I was past the line and stopped immediately. Whew! I always feel for a moment that I might throw up. Then walking, walking. Yes to medal, thank you. Yes to water to save for later. I had a single goal at that point: gear check. There I would find warmer clothes to swap into or layer on, a change of shoes and socks, my home-made sports drink (water, lemon juice, agave nectar, cayenne, salt, and chia seeds) and food. I tried to find my group in the Runner Reunite section but couldn't, and it was just too cold to wait. Grabbed my free sample of blue corn chips and left. SO many people! I walked over to the restaurant where we would be meeting up but it wasn't open yet, so I stopped by a Starbucks for a decaf americano to warm me and to get some spicy seed mix and a banana, since the food I brought wasn't inspiring me, and then hopped on the train and headed home.

Final time: 1:27:44 (nearly 5 minutes off my previous best).

5k splits:

• 5k - 29:41 (9:34 pace)
• 10k - 59:08 (9:31 pace)
• 15k - 1:27:44 (9:25 pace)

213th of 1118 in my age group - top 20%.

I'll take it!

Proudly yours,
Annie

Getting Ready

This Sunday is the Hot Chocolate 15k. It's my fourth time running it. It's the first race in a long time where I've been able to stick with my training plan pretty closely, and I was feeling good about it. My paces for my speed workouts and tempo runs have been much faster than my training plan called for in fact, since I had input my results from my last race (the Chicago Women's Half) which was tremendously hot and humid, but it's gotten a lot cooler since then.

I think I finally have the hang of how to work the Runners' World Smart Coach training plans so they work for me - a lower mileage range but high intensity. I naturally push myself hard, but I can't always get in all the miles, just from life conflicts.

I was feeling good about this and then I got a cold at the beginning of this week. I still wasn't worried - just a cold, after all, and plenty of time until race day - but yesterday did not feel good. All I can do at this point is rest as much as I can today and see what tomorrow brings me.

My first goal, as always, is to run a "smart" race, depending on the circumstances of the day (such as being sick), but also one where I feel I left it all out there. My second goal is to break 1:30. And my third is to just take as much time as I can off my PR (1:32:30 in 2010).

I'm excited about the course, we'll be running a lot of the trail but not until the second half (so hopefully the crowds will thin out by then), plus some time on both Michigan Avenue and Lake Shore Drive. The race finishes heading north into Grant Park, so the usual challenging uphills right before the end. But I'm familiar with them at least. I think they've finally worked out the logistics of the sheer number of people (+40,000); yesterday's packet pickup and expo was MUCH better organized than it's ever been in the past. I'm trying to work the start corrals so that I don't spend a lot of time waiting around in them - my initial assignment had me at the end of the first wave which would mean nearly an hour of standing around. I've requested to be moved back (so I can start at the beginning of the second wave) but if need be I'll just show up late. Everything is chip-timed as it is, and I know from experience that I'll be spending the first mile or more just trying to get free of people, so I'd rather do it after 15 minutes of standing around than an hour.

More after Sunday!

With hope,
Annie

Getting Ready

I'm running the Chicago Women's Half Marathon tomorrow, and, as has been the case with a number of races lately, the last couple of weeks I've been of two minds about running it, and even toyed with the idea of skipping it. Thankfully I seem to have found my enthusiasm again, and have been getting ready:

• Organizing my playlist
• Deciding to start with a pace team
• Mapping out my transportation schedule
• Prepping my breakfast today (since I'll have to leave pretty early in the a.m.)
• Thinking through my hydration/nutrition strategy
• Figuring out my racing kit
• Setting my goals

No joke, it's going to be hot and humid, even more so than the two I ran last year when I was preparing for the marathon (and therefore had more of an endurance base than this year). So I'm not looking to PR tomorrow. If I'd been able to stick to my training plan over the last three months I would have had a chance of that but that just wasn't in the cards for this summer. I have my eye on a January half so maybe then... But I do think I can run close to what I did last year, maybe in between the two times.

And what I'd really like is to have an experience that combines the best of last year's half marathons - to run it the way I did my second half (strong and smart), but have the event experience of the first (fun and well organized and with good energy).

It's going to be so hot I'm tempted to wear the race shirt that we got (a light grey singlet), but I don't know how that will go with my race vest. Guess I'll go try them out together! My only other sleeveless tech shirt is black and a little heavy, I usually save it for the gym when I want to feel tough. Or maybe I'll just wear one of my marathon shirts, those are the most lightweight ones I have. Though I don't like to wear shirts from longer races at a shorter race, that just seems rude somehow, as if I were bragging. Silly, I know. In the end I'll probably wear one of those since I'm hesitant to race in a shirt I haven't run in before, especially one that's a different cut than I'm used to.

I pointed out to The Dude that he was treating this race as if it were just any other long run (he'd been asking if I were going to be back in time for church, and if not that, then in time to go to family swim - that is, going about the rest of the day as if it were any other Sunday). His response?

"Aren't you the one who just ran a marathon on your own and then went into work, without telling anyone about it?" (My birthday challenge.)

Me: "Well, I took the rest of the day off, I didn't go into work."

Him: "But you didn't tell anyone you were planning to do this, and you barely told anyone afterwards, right?

Me: "Well, yeah."

Him: "Hmm. I think you reap what you sow."

I have since negotiated a somewhat reduced post-race schedule, though, plus going out for dinner. I think perhaps I just needed to take this more seriously.

Now to try out outfits and finish up my playlist. I'll cook my oatmeal later today, when it's not so hot.

See you on the other side!

Excitedly,
Annie

The Story

It was a beautiful day.

Everything to the beginning of the race went smoothly.

Standing in the corral I felt like crying, I was so happy to be there and to be doing it.

I had my goals in mind and a plan for executing them. (I will just point out here that this is a racing mind-set for me. My focus at this point was on time.)

And then we started.

It took a long time to warm up, and there were a lot of bottlenecks. Okay, to be expected, no worries. By the end of mile three I was nearing 11:00 miles, slower than my #3 goal time but still with plenty of time to speed up.

(I also want to mention that while I had slept well the last few days and was feeling good, I did not feel any "zip". No hunger. No nerves. This is not actually how you want to feel if you have ambitious time goals in mind.)

We went through downtown. I found myself bothered by the noise - I didn't remember that from the time before, or being bothered by it. I was fully present to experience it, and I didn't like it. (I also didn't like two slogans that I got to see over and over again - "Worst parade ever" - and - "If this were easy it would be called 'your mom'". Grrr.)

Another drawback to the noise: I couldn't hear the beeps of my watch to alert me to my walk breaks. So I was keeping numbers in my head and checking my watch frequently. First, for the time of my next walk break, and second, to see if I was on pace for that mile. Not much fun, that. It also meant I wasn't really taking my walk breaks as I had planned...

I went through the zoo and up north, then turned into Boystown, renowned for their spectator entertainment. Looking at people, their outfits, the signs on the sidelines, the funny stuff. And so impressed with how many people were running "for" someone or something. I had raised money for Chicago Lights, the nonprofit arm of the church I work for, but I wasn't really running for them. Trying to accelerate to 10:50 miles and not able to do it consistently, mostly because of the crowd. I'd get going faster and then find myself in another bottleneck. Or have to slow down because of all the trash on the street after an aid station. I found myself watching my feet more than the people, or more than I'd wanted to, at least.

After mile 7 I was also watching for toilet facilities without lines. I knew from last time that I wouldn't find that for some time in. I was doing okay - no urgent need to pee - but also knew that I'd be more comfortable if I could use the facilities, and also that I'd then be able to stop thinking about it (since I probably wouldn't need to go again before the end). At mile 8 I thought I saw one and moved over, only to realize that there were lines after all. Well, I was stopped, might as well suck it up and deal with it, right? Then after waiting for a while this guy told us, "The toilets on the other side have no lines." I dashed over, and... bullshit. The lines were worse than before. I was on the street again so decided to just keep going. Mile 9 came and there were toilets again - with lines - and I just decided to hell with it. I stopped, chose a line... and waited. And waited. While the other lines moved. And then I waited some more.

At this point I had my first breakthrough. I was not going to meet my goal #3. There was no way I could make up the time lost over the remaining miles. I had to let go. I didn't want to spend this marathon like my first one, worrying, fretting about how fast I was going and whether I'd meet my goals and completely in my head and in pain and miserable. I decided to stop tracking my pace, to make sure I took every walk break, and to enjoy myself as I went along.

And so I did.

To be honest, I still kept vague track of my pace, along the lines of "what's my 1/2 marathon split?" and "how long did it take me to run miles 15-20?", all in service of the larger questions, "can I finish under 4:50?" (unlikely) and "can I finish under 5 hours?" (hopefully). But I really didn't focus on it the way I had at first. I enjoyed the sunshine. I slapped hands with small children. I smiled. I felt myself slowing down as I entered the last 6 miles and I didn't worry about it.

(Although at this point I did start saying to myself, well, with X miles to go, if I maintain an 11:00 pace, I can finish under 5:00 with time to spare - and also noticed that window of time was shrinking with each mile. At this point I put my music on in the hopes of giving myself a little boost. I didn't mind not hitting my #3 and #2 goals, but I did really want to finish under 5 hours.)

But again, no worries. I enjoyed my music yet turned it off when I passed a cheer zone. The number of spectators was growing again and the energy was high. I looked around at all of us and I was so proud of us all. We had come so far. We were going to finish. We were amazing. The volunteers were amazing. The spectators - and the marching bands and the drill teams and the dancers and the people handing out candy and oranges and pretzels (which I should have taken and didn't) - were all amazing. The city and all that goes into an event like this - was amazing. This wasn't about me, it had nothing to do with me, it was about all of us and what an amazing thing life is and celebrating that life.

Of course I was hurting. That goes without saying. Every time I stopped it was harder to start again and when I did I was slower than before. But then I got moving and it went smoother and I still had moments where I felt good and buoyant, even. And grateful. Oh, so grateful.

And then, at mile 23, I hit The Wall. I started running again after a walk break and found I could not run. And I stopped. And walked.

And had a moment of panic, "I can't run, what do I do?"

And then a good song came on my iPod and I thought, well, now I walk. And walk with pride. And with a smile. And with purpose and energy and love for everyone around me.

And I did. I turned off my watch (wasn't going to make 5 hours now) and waved at the people who were waving and chatted with a pregnant lady I came up to. And then after nearly a mile of this I thought, well, my feet hurt, and this is going to take a really long time if I walk the rest of the way, so I started running again, slowly, stopping when I needed to but always starting up again, watching my shadow to see that my form was still good, if slow, and thinking, maybe I can even run the rest of the way in. Maybe I can even run a little faster that last mile.

And then I entered the last half mile, and the pain struck. Sharp. On the right side of my right knee. Oh! I had to stop. I walked a little, then gingerly started again. Ran another 100 meters and it hit again. Okay. Breathe deep. This is how it's going to be. Go slow. Walk if you have to. And then the hill and the signs: 400 meters... 300 meters... Still running, so slowly, not wanting to stop. 200 meters... 100 meters... and the finish line is right there and I am crossing it running so help me God.

And I did.

And I was never before so grateful for the volunteers at the end. And the sunshine. And the heat blanket and the medal and the volunteer with the tape to hold the heat blanket together. And beer. (Though that didn't sit well so I gave that up.) And then the refreshment box from Mariano's and the ease of gear check and sitting on the ground, on my blanket, in the sun, slowly changing my socks and shoes and getting into warm clothes and eating the food from the box and drinking my very own sports drink I'd brought with me. And reading the text messages The Dude had started sending to me once my pace started slowing. And then walking to the Brown Line and getting a seat and riding home in the sun, talking to my parents who'd been keeping track the whole time via Facebook, which is how The Dude knew I was slowing. And then coming home.

And all so happy and proud of me and of my city and of the day. My epic adventure.

That Half (Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken)

Getting the recap out of the way, 'cause it's a crazy week and I want to move on to other things.

Good news: I had a good strategy and executed it well.

Bad news: The course/event was poorly organized and in the end I don't trust the results. (Won't go into a lot of details but I think the course was short based on my Garmin and the reports of others around me. Or if not short then something went wrong with all the turns out there. Plus lots of other little things.)

Lesson learned: Stick to events I know will be well organized (Fleet Feet or the major Chicago races or word of mouth) or if I'm doing it just for fun.

It was a beautiful day. It was close enough to walk to so by the time I got there I was completely warmed up and ready to go. I took the first third conservatively, eased up to goal pace for the middle third, and then went faster in the last third, especially in the last mile and again in the last quarter mile. I felt good but definitely left it all on the course, which also felt good. Their results aside, I shaved at least a couple of minutes off my previous half. I used my race vest with bladder and felt like I was getting adequate nutrition/hydration throughout. My plan of walk breaks every mile seemed to help with the heat - I definitely got hot but never felt close to overheating, and was able to skip a couple of the walk breaks towards the end.

I wanted to report on something I experienced at the end of the race, in the last third. I worked those first nine miles, I felt very conscious of the effort I was putting out there to move up to pace and then try to stay at pace. And of wanting to slow down and not doing it. (Except mile 8, I seem to always slow down in mile 8. Plus I needed to retie my shoes, which I never need to do. Three times to get it right!)

And then I hit the ninth mile and started to fly. It just felt... effortless. Beautiful. Heavenly. Wow.

Very grateful.

I walked the two miles home which meant a total of 17 miles on my feet that morning, which makes me just that little more confident about the marathon now only 8 1/2 weeks away. But only a little bit. Mostly I think, am I crazy? Or wish that I could properly race it instead of enduring it, but I'm not that good and am not willing to put in the effort to become that good, I've got other things I'm working on.

So why do another marathon?

I guess, as someone in my online running group wrote, for the adventure of it.

And maybe, just maybe, another taste of that wow.

Three Days To Go

...before my next half marathon.

Two days ago I was a bit worried. There's been a wee bit of stress in my life this last week and my sleep was suffering horribly, every day I was waking up more tired than the day before. Monday I even had to skip my run which I almost never ever do.

Thankfully some of that stress was resolved on Monday (work stuff) and I've been sleeping better since then and also making a point of going to bed earlier. Amazing what a couple of nights' better sleep will do for my mood. So now I'm beginning to be a bit hopeful again.

The weather forecast is for 77 degress, a bit cooler than the half I suffered through in June. We've been having on-and-off rain all week so it's a bit steamy out there right now, which worries me more than the heat, really. I'm hoping that eases a bit in the next couple of days.

I plan to run without headphones and have been doing all my recent runs without to get used to running "naked" again. I also think I have a more accurate idea of what I can hope for pacing-wise, so I'll be more conservative at the start than I was before. I plan to take walking breaks every mile, and I'll have my water on my back instead of on my chest, which will be more comfortable. The course is also near me, on the north lakefront, so it will be familiar to me (and offer more shade). So all-in-all, I think that I'll be better able to enjoy this half, regardless of what my end time is.

Though of course, ahem, I'll be hoping to PR.

No, Really, I Love This Stuff

I realized last week that I may not have expressed how much fun I had with my last race, despite the copious room for improvement I actually wrote about. So I just want to make it clear...

I love racing.

Even when I don't think I've done as well as I could have. I love the people, the music, the crowds, the excitement. I love thinking about the course, figuring out a new course, feeling familiar with an old one. I love talking to the volunteers at packet pickups. I love being a volunteer at packet pickups. I love talking to other race participants (and seeing who will actually talk to me). I love getting up early and leaving the house before anyone is awake and moving through the city early. I love coming home and feeling that no matter what else I do that day I am a badass for getting up early and running a race. (And for having license to eat extra treats.) I love thinking about racing strategy and I love it even more when I not only plan things well but keep to that plan and get the results I hoped for. And then I love sharing about it afterwards. (I don't always love race photos but I've had some good ones lately.)

So, with that in mind, I've created a new page here which has all my race results and links to the ones I've written about. In going through these I have found some unfortunate trends (though typical)... going out too fast, not taking the heat/humidity seriously enough. But also a happy one... that my best experiences are when I run what I feel was a "smart" race, regardless of time: one where I start off conservatively, pick up the pace progressively, and then have enough left for a strong finish at the end. I also see that these are the ones I've done without music, so I am going back to racing without an iPod (I reserve the right to keep one on me for the marathon). Though I may need some new mantras then.

And as an extra treat, a link to a very funny comic strip (be forewarned about the swearing): God of Cake.

Itty Bitty Race Recap

I'll start with a photo which may say it all.

Near the end... a grimace, not a smile.

It was horribly hot (though not as humid as recently around here).

When setting goals, and therefore my initial pace, I failed to take two things into account.

1. While I had trained to cover this distance I had not been training to race it, this race was just tucked into my marathon training. (Yes, these distinctions do make a difference.)
2. The temperature at 6:30 a.m. was not the same as at 7:35, approximately halfway through.

The last five miles were brutal for me. And while friends congratulated me on finishing as well as I did, I know that I could have done better, by starting off more conservatively and taking more walk breaks to compensate for the increasing heat.

By finishing better I don't mean faster, though I'd certainly take that too. I mean stronger, enjoying myself more, able to feel that in the last miles I was actually racing, as opposed to just trying to run (not walk) as much as possible and keep from overheating.

Ah well. I promptly signed up for a second half, in August (when it may well be hotter and more humid). I've made adjustments to my hydration/nutrition system which seem to be working out well. (No more heavy bottles on my chest - I have graduated into full runner geek mode and now have a bladder for my race vest.) I have adjusted my training to better prepare for this next one and also rethought how I'm going about the marathon. I feel good.

I do love this distance. It is long enough to be challenging, to require strategy, to have to be smart about it, but I don't really worry about my ability to finish it. Even if I do have to stop and walk more than I'd like sometimes.

One very cool thing that happened: After the finish a young woman tapped me on the shoulder and told me that she'd been following me the entire time, I had set a very steady pace and it helped her. I don't know what she'd been doing those last five miles - perhaps walking as well? - but it was a real kindness of her to tell me that.

Bring on the miles!

How Did This Happen? Ravenswood Run 5k Recap

Back when my training felt like it was going well, back in November, early December, I had dreams of doing this 5k in 27:00.

Pretty ambitious, I know. Last year I ran it in 29:20 something, a PR, and one I was very proud of.

Then the holidays happened, my shoulder got injured, everyone got sick (and then again), I gained 8lbs., and it all went to pot. I feel I've been inching my way back since mid-March.

In my efforts to improve on my racing techniques, I ended up swinging too far in the opposite direction. To wit:

• To not run extra on the turns I cut the corners tightly - but got boxed in and had to slow down.
• To not worry about the extra I might be running I didn't wear my Garmin - but I didn't bring a watch either or remember to look at the time when I crossed the start line.
• And I just don't know why I decided not to run with headphones.

The result? I started off fast, and had no idea how fast I was going. Never. Or how far I had come - I saw the first mile marker but not the second one. All I knew was that I was working very hard, and I didn't like it. I couldn't really take in what was around me, and I had no music to distract me. I got bored. And then I hit a point somewhere in the last mile where I was just tired of it being hard and I thought, do I really care? And I stopped. Oh, I kept on moving (walking), and after some time (probably less time than it felt like) I started running again, although not as fast, and with about a quarter-mile to go at the last turn I thought, well, I should at least try to finish nicely, so I picked someone ahead of me to pass. And by the time I did I was at the 3-mile marker and realized with some surprise that if I didn't totally bail out I could probably finish in under 29 minutes at least (remember I had no idea when I crossed the start line). And so I tucked down and ran as fast as I could and then I ran a little faster and then I sprinted. And then I was done and wanted to throw up.

(Except I have a cast-iron stomach and never do, even when it would make me feel better.)

Friends, I ran that race in 27:15.

I was 41st out of 250 in  my age group, a fact which excites me even more than my first place age group finish from a couple of weeks ago (since that field was so small my placing first really was a fluke).

How did this happen?

And what would my time and place have been if I hadn't given up for those few minutes?

I guess if this were my favored distance I would find ways to work on my mental preparation and really figure out how to best go about running it and how to handle those "do I care" thoughts. (And find some other ones to practice on this year.) And I'm sure I will both to some extent. But it's not my favorite distance so mostly I will just find out what could have been, the next time I run one. And glory in the craziness of this one. (And reconfigure my marathon training plan.)

But not next year. Next year we have plans to run this as a family with another family from the boys' daycare/preschool. Four adults, two earnest small boys, and two running strollers with toddlers. Yes, we'll be one of those groups at the back spread out across the whole street and irritating anyone who got there late but thinks they can maybe still slip in and get their PR.

And then we'll eat pancakes.

Heading Out Soon...

And I've had a horrible night's sleep, thanks to son/husband, baby, cat, baby. In that order.

I don't like running super fast so I always doubt my ability to make myself do it for a long time. I wasn't going to wear headphones for this but now I'm not sure. Maybe bring them for insurance.

I don't feel ready. I'm not. I leave in an hour and I haven't gotten my stuff on or together and the baby is waking up for real this time.

Gah. Why do we care so much about these things?

Some Details After All

So, a correction from my earlier race report: In the overall results, I placed 111 out of 173 finishers, not 134. To the non-runner this may seem inconsequential, but to the runner - huge! That means I finished in front of 62 people, not the mere 23 I had previously thought. Go me!

I mentioned details in my previous entry, technical, tactical, and mental, and thought that I would go into some of them here after all (thanks, Laurie).

Technical

• This was my first time racing with my Road ID, which freed me up to only use existing pockets instead of carrying a pack, however small. I carried house keys, my bus pass, my iPod and my Garmin, nothing else.
• This was also my first time wearing my Garmin. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, it ended up being a bit distracting, especially after the race when I had not yet gotten the official results.
• Also my first time racing in my calf sleeves - yes! I felt like a dork but pretended I wasn't wearing them. Added bonus: they kept my legs warmer in the nasty weather.

Tactical

• I made sure to warm up (in part because it was so cold) and I think it made a sizable difference in being able to start off strong and stay there.
• I started off tired (this event started late in the morning and I'd been up for hours already wrangling a toddler). I tried for a feeling of lightness and lift through my torso. Although at times I felt I could go faster it would have been at the expense of that sense of lightness, and I knew I could not afford to push that way until the very end.
• I also held myself back the first mile by keeping my breathing through my nose.
• As usual, I let myself tear down the hills and then muscle my way up them. Crazy but fun, with the added profit of possibly confusing my fellow competitors. I really need to find some trail events.
• While I was able to accelerate a bit in the second half and over the last mile in particular, it was clear to me that I wasn't going to be able to sprint until the very end. Luckily, about 200m from the finish line, two ladies that I'd previously passed put on their own surge. Exactly the push I needed! I couldn't keep up with them in the end but they got me going for those last seconds.
• I have to work more on getting to the inside corner. Running with the Garmin showed me that I ran an extra 0.15 miles - easily an extra minute. And this was over only a 10k.

Mental

• I knew (from practice) that I could push myself in the second half and then again in the last mile and again in the last 100m. Because I knew it, I could do it. It makes a difference to know that so much of performance is mental. Practice really does make perfect. I don't think I used any new mental tactics at this race but even six months of practice on my weekly runs has made a difference.
• And pain is not something to be afraid of. Again, the more I practice this, the easier it is to believe.

Random Details

• The whole first half I had an odd feeling of being pushed... on the turnaround I realized what it was - the wind. Which was now in my face. I am such a contrary bugger though that I like the feeling of pushing against something (I also like hills).
• The next two days I was wiped out. I have never been so affected by a race or run afterwards. So that was also proof to me that I have gotten better at pushing myself past what I think I can do.

I feel like I am being tempered as a runner (the way metal is tempered in a fire). I like how this feels. I suspect this is also carrying over into other areas of my life and I like that as well. But perhaps this is just the result of being now firmly in my 40s and of being a mother. So much just seems inconsequential now. But that's ponderings for another time.

Next race is next Sunday!

Wrigley Start Early 10k - A Race Report of Sorts

In light of Boston, I really can't bring myself to post a detailed race report of last Saturday's Wrigley Start Early 5/10K.

Which is kind of a shame, because it was amazing.

Not the event itself. That was not well organized, it was muddy and windy and cold and snowy (!), and they cut the festivities short (including food and volunteers) because of the weather.

But because...

Not only did I break an hour (59:52)...

Not only did I fight the entire way to make that happen, the first time I've really done that...

Not only did I learn all kinds of useful things for future races (tactical and equipment details, I don't need to go into them now)...

Not only did I put into practice a number of mental strategies I've practiced over the last year...

But because I came in first in my age group.

Booyah!

I must point out that it was an extremely small field, and I came in 111 out of 135 overall. (I started at the back and I think I remember passing every single one of those 24 people behind me.) But of the eight women ages 40-44 who finished, I was the first. By 6 seconds!

Ah, victory.

Needless to say, this was an incredible way to start my racing season.

Racing Plans 2013

I've got my racing schedule for the year. Woo-hoo!

April 28: Ravenswood Run 5K.
This is in my neighborhood and benefits the community food/health program that runs out of my church.I have volunteered in different years and now run it two years in a row. I'm excited to support it again and take some time off last year's PR!

June 23: Chicago Women's Half Marathon
I ran this last year and had a great time. It was my first half marathon and convinced me that this is my sweet spot in terms of distance. (I had run this event before when it was the Fleet Feet Women's 5/10k Festival.) This one is also meaningful to me because it's connected to the American Heart Association's Go Red For Women campaign, an effort directed at educating women about the risks of heart disease, which is (still!) frequently thought to affect mostly men and has different (and more subtle) symptons in women. Heart disease runs through both sides of my family so this is a health issue "close to my heart", so to speak.

October 13: Chicago Marathon
A week later, and registration is still closed due to the technical problems with Active.com. But somehow I managed to get in during the three hours they were open last Tuesday.
     Seriously, it makes no sense for me to do this, this year or anytime in the near future. I won't be able to train to the extent that I would really like to be able to. And yet...
     Though it's not an official charity of the marathon, I will be raising funds for Chicago Lights, the non-profit arm of the church I work for that does amazing work in fighting poverty, specifically in the areas of education and literacy, and hunger and homelessness. I'll have more information about them as the year goes on.

So those are the ones I'm training for. I'll also run a couple for fun, probably the Elvis Is Alive 5K in August, the Run Against Traffick 5K in September, and then something in November/December, just so that my running season doesn't end with the marathon.

I gave serious, serious thought to getting a coach this year. For so many reasons. And I probably will in the future. But this year the money picture is just a bit too tight...

The other issue is that I can safely say that over the past four years, I've managed to keep to my training plan about, oh, one week in the month. If that. Between work and kids my schedule is not truly my own. And I think I would be frustrated to be paying for a coach and then unable to take her advice. Once they're old enough that I can leave the house in the morning and come back before breakfast, well, then it's a different story. By then we'll also only be paying one daycare fee and the money issue will be resolved. So, maybe in 2015... Which would be when I'd likely be itching to do another marathon again...

Happy running!

Hot Chocolate 15k - 2012

I wanted to write a play-by-play, but sometimes these breaks in time between posts get to a point where it's just ridiculous. Busy, busy, busy at work, which is where I do most of my computer stuff. So here's the short version.

Despite all my grumbling and worrying and complaining about this race (most of which I spared you, believe it or not), I had a really good time.

I've liked the course every year I've done it (and it's been a new one each time), but it's never been big enough to handle the number of runners participating. So that's been a frustrating experience with bottle-necks and running off the edge of the road and the like. This year they staggered the starts in such a way that it rarely felt crowded on the course, which was lovely. The drawback to this of course was the long time spent standing before the race started (I crossed the start line at 41:50 and was only in corral K - it went through corral T) which then resulted in my needing to stop for a potty break shortly after mile 3 and that early in the race there were still lines for the porta-potties. So I lost time there. But that's a logistics issue to keep in mind for next year or any other race with a lot of participants (I heard this one was just over 20,000).

Oh, and the swag was better this year too (photos below).

Lots of elevation fluctuation on the course, which I like (makes it interesting). Lots of great views.

Right from the start I was running on tired legs because I just didn't get enough rest the week before. So the challenge for me was going to be keeping my pace steady and then, if possible, bring it up again in the last 5k. And I did! There were two key difference between this race and previous ones that I think made it possible. First, I've gotten better at "sucking it up". I've practiced this in long tempo runs, figuring out what I need to do mentally to be able to tolerate discomfort longer. And two, in the past I would have only taken one gel, and this time I had two and also carbo-loaded a bit more the day before and even before the race started --- I could really feel the difference on the second gel and I'm sure that's what allowed me to push harder in the last 5k.

I finished in 1:33:41 at a pace of 10:04/mile. So I didn't make my first or my second goal (to break 1:30:00 or 1:32:30 --- I was so close to that last one but that potty-break is what blew it for me), but I did hit my third one of (nearly) 10 minute miles. Most importantly to me, my last 5k split was the fastest one, at 29:32. (Actually, it was so much faster, it shows me I can do better overall.)

So, lots to work on for next year. Logistically, I want to remember three things:

1. Bring a throw-away shirt for the time between gear check and the start.
2. Don't enter the corral until the last possible minute - I could have entered 20 minutes later and gotten another pee in.
3. Stop drinking an hour or so before when I plan to have my last pee - chew gum instead for dry mouth.

The other thing I want to keep in mind with my training for this next year is to not start training for this race so soon. I'm probably going to train for the Chicago Women's Half again along with this one for my longer races of the year; if I do go that route then I'll make sure to take a longer break after the half so that I'm not running out of steam in October again.

All-in-all, lots of lessons learnt through training for this and running it!

Finally, they have a decent looking item that I have been wearing.

I liked the emblem on the back shoulder - also the little one running through the picture.

One Last Movie - And A Race

So, we ended up sneaking in another movie last night, even though my plan was to go to bed early (again - I am always trying to go to bed early and I so rarely succeed), because, really, this is not a high-stakes race tomorrow and I am not a professional athlete and my running needs to support me and my life and not be my life. And this movie came in the mail today.

Troll Hunter (2010)
A Norwegian movie, shot cinema-verite style, about students who start off investigating mysterious bear deaths and end up following (and filming) a troll hunter. Way more fun than you'd think it should be. Too tired now to think what else to say about it.

Oh yes, I have this race tomorrow. The Hot Chocolate 15k. This race that I trained all season for... only to have my training go off the track two months ago, never to really return. This race that I want to love (because I did so much my first year)... but am so disgusted with the race organizers, and have been, year after year, that I just get angry thinking about it, and have no confidence that it will be well run tomorrow. This race I have planned for so seriously all year... only to realize that I need to radically rethink how I go about my training and my racing so that, as I wrote above, my running supports my life rather than being my life.

I have gone back and forth on whether to even do this all week, and if so, how. (In the end I am doing it because I regretted so much not running the Chicago Half after all, and I don't want to repeat that experience.) My original goal was 1:30 or less (basically a 9:40 pace). I am very dubious about my ability to pull that off, though I am willing to try. My first time at this race was in 2009, and it was my first long race since Buddy was born. I ran it in 1:39:26 (10:41 pace). I am in much better shape now than I was then, so I fully expect to do better than that.

My second time was in 2010, after running the marathon three weeks before. I ran it in 1:32:30 (9:56 pace). I don't have the endurance that I did back then, but I am actually faster. So I think it's possible to run it this year faster than that, and I guess, in the end, that's what I'm shooting for.  I've loaded up my iPod with inspiring music (I don't usually do races with music but I'll take whatever help I can get), I'm heading to bed soon, happy to take advantage of daylight sayings time, and I'll put my best game face on tomorrow and not let myself get upset by the surroundings.