Exciting Developments, Part 2

Chicago, Chicago, is my kind of town...

And I'll be running through a lot of it on October 11, 2015.

That's right, baby! Early morning running = more running possible = I am signed up to do the Chicago Marathon (and raise funds for this awesome organization - more about that later).

I hadn't realized how much I was missing long runs and marathon training until it suddenly become possible to do it again. I am over the moon happy.

Time to line up some good podcasts and running tunes. And try out new gels and energy bars.

Happily yours,
Annie

Exciting Developments

At about the same time I hurt my shoulder, I realized that G has consistently been sleeping later in the mornings (probably because he no longer naps). And that it is D who is the first one up, after me, of course. But D is in kindergarten now, and able to take care of himself in the mornings - get himself fruit from the counter if he's hungry and water from the sink, entertain himself and make halfway decent decisions about whether or not a parent needs to be woken up for something. Which means...

I can go running first thing in the morning!

I can literally say I have been waiting for this moment for six and a half years.

I've been heading out early for two weeks now and have been loving it. I'm still doing my longer runs and speed/tempo workouts later in the morning, after dropping off G, but it gives me so much more flexibility and opportunity to be able to head out first thing and be back before the rest of the household is up. And what a fantastic way to start the day for me.

This opens up a whole new world for me and my training... what might I do next?

Ecstatically,
Annie

A Wee Update

My doctor called me Saturday to give me the news: partial tear of one of the tendons of the rotator cuff. And then, on learning that my appointment with the orthopedic specialist wasn't until later in the month, offered to get a referral started for physical therapy.

I have promised The Dude that however my shoulder feels in two weeks I will still follow up on all my referrals. I am mostly pain-free most of the time now, but when I move it in the wrong way - whoa. I've gotten pretty good at not moving it the wrong way but sometimes I forget and sometimes I just get taken by surprise. (And today's damp weather has me crying again.)

I don't need to share with you all the drama in my head over the last ten days about this. Especially since my three big worries have been mitigated:

1. Will I be able to garden? Yes, carefully.
2. Can I still go running? Yes, carefully. (And some exciting news on that soon!)
3. How will the kids handle my being injured? Ah, now...

That's been an interesting one to watch. The first day - when they saw me shocked out of breath by the pain, not once but several times - they were very solicitous and gentle with me. The next morning, they came downstairs and asked if I was still hurt. On learning that I was, they both came up with ailments of their own, and have continued, on-and-off since then, to reference these ailments ("my foot hurts", "my knee hurts", etc.).

Other than that D is mostly handling it in stride now... but G, well, his routines have been messed with. In particular, the routine whereby I am willing to carry him downstairs in the morning and then back upstairs at night, since I'm not willing to carry him around the rest of the day. The Dude for some reason is not always an acceptable substitute, although G is hanging out with him more now, as I am clearly damaged goods. (Which has also led to the observation that "Gosh, G can be really demanding." Why, yes, he can, and yes, he has been going easy on you all this time.) Anyways, he now asks when getting up in the morning or before going to bed if I am still hurt, and then the negotiations begin. (Will holding my hand on the stairs be enough, do we need to bring in Daddy, or maybe he just needs to sit on the stairs and throw a fit about all this. I have thrown my own share of fits about this in the last week so I can sympathize.)

We did hit on an acceptable substitute last night - I can carry him piggy-back without any pain - and so his world is once again set aright. Of course, being G, he has tried to push this - now I'll carry him on my back all the time, right? Not a chance, kid.

Oh, and how I did this? Vanity, sheer vanity... it was probably from sloppy weight lifting. I had known I wasn't being careful enough and had even stopped a couple of particular exercises the week before, but I guess that wasn't soon enough. Really, I'm 43 years old. Strong is enough - I don't need to be buff as well.

Chastened,
Annie

Sometimes No News Is Not Good News

But not necessarily bad, either. I've just been really busy, at work in particular (I usually write my posts on my lunch break) but also at home.

Unfortunately, I do also have bad news, for me at least, as far as my training goes. I've done something serious to my shoulder, I don't know what yet, and that, coupled with the last two weeks of interrupted running, means I don't have a chance of seriously training for the race I had just signed up for (right before things got so busy).

Not happy. (Plus in pain.) I will endeavor to forget I signed up for it at all until next month and then see where I'm at - emotionally, not physically. These days I don't have much interest in running races just for the sake of running them, but I also hate to have spent money on something I won't do.

This was the only race I was serious about for this year, too, so double bummer. And my training had been going well...

Discouraged,
Anne

National Museum of Mexican Art

On Sunday, to celebrate my birthday with the kids, we went someplace new to us, the National Museum of Mexican Art. I can barely tell you anything about it because we walked through so fast (G was not happy being there and was very loud and agitated about it), but D and I are new fans.

So much so, that I had to promise to take him back soon - without G, that was his stipulation. Also, he wants us to bring our sketchbooks and pencils with so that we can "draw our favorite things".

(Plus, they have an awesome gift shop that I would have liked to spend more time in as well. The Dude did buy me a very cool mug that I can now use for my Mexican hot chocolate.)

The gift shop, not the museum.

And then we came home and ate chocolate zucchini cake. A yummy day, all around.

A year older,
Annie

Art & Fear (& Boxing)

It occurred to me during boxing drills the other day that it is really good practice for painting.

Boxing, like art, demands that I be present, fully engaged in what I am doing.

And I don't always know if I have what I need to do it.

With boxing I know that I don't, and won't for a long time. That's why I stay in my basement and don't seek out matches.

With painting, to a great extent I also know that I don't have what I need. My picking it up and putting it down, over and over again over the years, has left my hand rusty, my technique minimal. That is why I stay in my study, and don't seek out showings.

But with both I can trust that if I stay with it, and keep stretching myself, over time I will know what I'm doing.

That won't take away the fear. I will still have to show up, and be fully present, and ready to expose myself, and willing to take risks. And still struggle with my materials (the paint, my body) and with technique, and still keenly feel the gap between what I have in my head and what I can put forth.

But in practicing both, in honing my hand and becoming familiar with my materials, I will also be practicing standing up with fear. And so I will become familiar with that too, and able to work with it.

Sounds worth it.

Practicing being brave.
Annie

January Reading

I've been reading books again. Hallelujah! I don't know what I was doing instead during the fall, but looking back at my book journal, whatever it was, it wasn't reading. At least not books. Magazines, maybe?

Some good books/articles read in January:

Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Find Your Life's Work, by Steven Pressfield.
A super fast read, but one I think I came across at exactly the right time to read it. I was particularly interested in the idea of a "shadow career" - those things we do, even pour a lot of investment and energy into, in order to keep us from really facing the things we want to do with our life.

A blog post by Mat Frazier (of No Meat Athlete, though this was featured in the Huffington Post) on being obsessed about your goals.

A blog post by Seth Godin with some good advice for life (and perhaps especially parenting), including this quote: "A pitfall of throwing tantrums is that sometimes, people throw them back." I think all of my worst tantrums have come as a parent, and I don't like that.

An inspiring post by Leo Babauta, of Zen Habits, also about setting goals and making changes, but from a quite different perspective than most such writing. A quote: "Acceptance isn't stagnation - you will change no matter what. You can't avoid changing. The question is whether that change comes from a place of acceptance and love, or a place of self-dislike and dissatisfaction."

A disturbing but important article from The New York Times: "U.S. Research Lab Lets Livestock Suffer in Quest for Profit", reminding us, yet again, that farm animals are not covered under U.S. animal welfare laws.

And an inspiring one from The Nature Conservancy's blog, Cool Green Science, about a woman who is mapping animal movement pathways in India in preparation for the infrastructure improvements expected to take place there.

And finally, one of the most amazing books I've read, ever. One Day I Will Write About This Place, by Binyavanga Wainaina. A memoir of his growing up in Kenya in the 80s and 90s. Fascinating, but also beautifully written and put together. I kept looking for a sentence that I could quote but every time I opened it up, every place I looked, I just started reading again. I was introduced to his writing through his satirical essay for Granta, "How to Write About Africa," but they are very different pieces (though that one is great: pointed, funny, and lyrical, which is why I'm including the link here). I'm hoping that at some point a collection of his short stories and essays will published.

What have you been reading?

With a stack of books at least 10 volumes high,
Annie