My Weeds

Weeding was the activity of this past weekend, I spent about three hours total in the dirt deciding which plants got to stay and which ones did not and then pulling out (or digging out, or cutting low) those that did not meet with my approval.

I enjoy weeding. It's one of the few tasks in the garden where I feel I know what I'm doing. I like getting down low and spending time with my plants at the leaf and stem and root level, getting to know them better. And it's a great excuse to leave the house behind and to be out in the sun and fresh air and green for a while. And then afterwards to feel perfectly justified in sitting on our back bench with a beer and a book for another half hour or so. James Baldwin and Lawrence Ferlinghetti were good companions this weekend.

I used to have a book by Sara Stein on weeds, My Weeds: A Gardener's Botany. I owned it back when I managed a community garden. Somewhere I lost it, or gave it away - time to get another copy.

I finally went around and took photos of those plants that I couldn't figure out - weed or not? - and threw them up on Facebook in the hopes of getting some identification. Some of these I know are weeds but I would like to know what exactly it is. And one of these is echinacea - I just can't remember which one.

This is a pesky one - it's everywhere.

Echinacea?

Or maybe this one is.

I have the feeling this is bittersweet. If so, when we moved in it was already well established. The flowers
and berries are pretty but it was choking our jasmine, so last fall I tried to get it out wherever I could.
I don't mind managing one of these... but not the multiple locations it's springing up.

And last night while leafing through my perennial book I realized this is
bees' balm! I remembered it had pretty flowers later on, and it has a lovely smell.
So this is a keeper - just needs a careful eye (as does my vinca).

What makes it harder to identify some of these is that a number of plants in our yard bloom later than in other locations in our neighborhood, or even in the yard next door (we get less light due to the two-flat next to us). So just comparing what I see here to what I pass when walking about isn't enough. I'm hoping that by documenting them (and making some sketches in my garden journal) I might be able to remember what things are next year at this time, when lots of things are green but not much has yet blossomed.

Reporting from the deep green,

Annie

In The Garden

We've been doing more in the garden this year, as we make it more fully our own. So far we haven't taken anything out (with the exception of an ivy hell-bent on ripping off our siding), but have pushed back in some areas.

The house came with a well-established perennial garden so last year we mostly tried to maintain things and watch how it unfolded over the year. Most of our new planting was done in containers - flower boxes, vegetables, herbs. The one place where we went ahead and ripped stuff out was the area directly next to the house in back. It doesn't get a lot of light and was a tangle of grasses, groundcovers that had migrated from the area below the deck, a small shrub, and one small sorrowful iris patch that bloomed much later than the irises around the neighborhood. Oh, and a lot of weeds. We cleared out a space in the center so we could have a pumpkin patch, which we then did not carefully maintain and ended up with vines growing over everything else, an equally unattractive tangle. We hope to do better with it this year.

What I've done a lot of this year is pruning! When we moved in the shrubs hadn't been thoroughly pruned in some time. I cut things back but didn't get into the undergrowth. Over the winter I did some reading on pruning and saw that you can cut back up to 1/3 of the plant. So as soon as we had some warm days I went in to cut back and to get rid of the dead wood underneath. Since at current count we have 12 shrubs and two very vigorous vines needing the same kind of attention that's a lot of pruning. Plus the two sage bushes that would like to take over that part of the garden.

Everything looks a lot better now - the space is opened up and I can see what's going on. Part of what I see are what look like weeds, or at least from their behavior they're acting that way... but I can't remember what they did last year. I'm pretty sure a couple of these turn out nicely later in late summer - and I'm just as certain that one ends up being ugly and a nuisance to get out. But which is which? I'll just have to keep a careful eye on them all.

Talk About Lemonade

It was earlier this week, and I had not had a good night's sleep, after several nights already of too-short sleep. Bad news at The Dude's work and too much noise in the neighborhood. I woke up feeling grim, and went about the morning routines grimly. Coffee, kids' lunches, breakfast.

And then G came downstairs, much earlier than I expect to see him, trotting down the hall in his Captain America footie pajamas and beaming at me. "I love you, Mama!" he sang out, and I swooped him up and was given a face full of kisses. The sun broke through, briefly.

The day continued with a morning full of mishaps, all stupid little things that together had me wondering at my bad luck and needing to walk away from my desk before I blew up. Not a day for buying lottery tickets. Well, anyway, things got resolved, or at least resolved enough to keep going and I put in Beyonce's "Lemonade" which I had bought two days before and not yet listened to. An explosion of light in my ears and I kept it on all day, its effect kind of like a face full of kisses when you're just expecting rain.

Back to sunshine,
Annie

Learning

I've been studying poetry earnestly since sometime last fall, reading as much as I can across a variety of styles and cultures.

I haven't had much formal education in poetry. I remember reading Ted Hughes, Robert Frost, John Donne, and of course Shakespeare in high school. In college I took a course in 18th century American literature which introduced me to Emily Dickinson. At some point I started reading the Austrian poet Erich Fried.

Somehow while in college I managed to get on the editorial board of a literary journal, The Siren, and so for a couple of years I was reading what my classmates were writing (and had a couple of poems published myself).

And then after college I remember frequenting an independent feminist/LGBT library in Washington, D.C. where I found some African-American women poets: Nikki Giovanni, June Jordan, and Becky Birtha.

Over the years I've kept a binder of poems I've come across that spoke to me - by poets I've named above, and a hodgepodge of others.

I used to feel limited by my lack of formal literary education, but lately - as I've been filling in the gaps (and the internet is great for this) - I've been grateful. It means all my reading is framed through the questions I have about the poems, and not what anyone thinks I ought to know about them. Most of my questions are very basic: What do I like in this poem? What don't I like? Why? And then, what else might be going on around the circumstances of writing this - historically, culturally, personally? What might this poem be responding to? And always with an eye to my own writing.

I'm lucky also to be in Chicago with the excellent Poetry Foundation just a few blocks from me at work. I've been going to their monthly Library Book Club sessions, which allows me to explore a manuscript in some depth, occasionally to hear from the author in person, and to be among other people who are thinking hard about poetry as well. The first time I went I was so excited to be part of an actual serious discussion about literature I could barely contain myself - so different from any of the book groups I've tried to be part of in the past. After a couple of sessions I can now manage to not be overwhelmed with my enthusiasm. And of course their website is a treasure trove of information.

I know my study is paying off when I can read poems and have a sense of what I might do differently, when I can look at an old poem of mine and see not only its shortcomings but also how I might make it better. And I am beginning to feel that I am developing my own voice.

I do not feel adequate to much of what I want to say, but as I study and write I trust I am becoming more so.

Ever curious, ever learning,
Annie

The Writing Life

Longtime readers of my blog will remember that I haven't always written only about running, or even mostly about it. Other regular topics have included my quilting projects, baking, Scary Movie Month, stuff I've read that has made an impression on me, and odds and ends about my day to day life, especially the kids. So it shouldn't be a huge surprise that I've decided to start writing about another topic that I spend a lot of time doing and thinking about. Namely, writing.

Of course, I have already written about this, but only to say that I have been. And I still don't intend to share any details of the content of my writing. That I think needs to stay within the confines of those pages until I'm ready to have constructive feedback on it - and honestly this blog won't be the method I choose for that feedback.

But I do think it will be useful to me, and hopefully interesting to you, for me to share some of my process around writing. So from time to time I will pull back that curtain.

As you may recall, I gave myself a year to explore what form best suited me. I was surprised to find myself not that interested in writing non-fiction or memoir, but rather full of story ideas, and I started a novel.

Lovely, yes? Understandable, yes? Everyone understands novels, even if you don't tend to read them. And it's easy to mark progress - so many words written, so many chapters completed. Even if you have to throw some out and start again from time to time.

However, as I have continued to allow myself to write and read what I want, I have found myself more and more drawn to poetry. Oh, I was not happy when I realized that. There is so very much bad poetry out there.

And people are not generally neutral about poetry, especially anything at all challenging. I've found that they tend to come at it the same way they come at modern/contemporary art or jazz. (Two other art forms I love.) That is, with a lot of distrust, scorn, and dismissal. When not outright hatred.

I don't know why I was so surprised by my return to poetry; I did, after all, write an entire masters thesis using stories, essays, and poetry to explore my topic. My tastes in poetry have changed since then, though (as have my tastes in music and art, for that matter), so it's not just a question of picking up where I had left off. And the world of poetry is also very different from back then. I have so much to learn...

And that thought, while daunting, is also luscious. Mmm, poetry...

Annie

First Time in a Long Time

I ran eight miles on Saturday. This was my longest run since the marathon, last October. So kind of a big deal for me. And the best news was that it ended up not being a big deal at all.

I had my usual tea and a swallowful of leftover coffee before leaving the house, along with a banana and dates. I brought a small bottle of the endurance drink I use (Tailwind) and a gel - both things I've had no use for since last fall. Since I was carrying a bottle I broke out my race vest - again, this has sat on a shelf since the fall. Kind of nice to have it out again.

I started off slow and took walk breaks every half mile, with a sip of Tailwind with each walk break. I've had a bad habit in the past of not refueling soon enough so while this was a relatively short long run, as runs go, I didn't want to make things any harder for myself through anything I could prevent. I did feel kind of slow and stagnant to begin with - I had to remind myself that non-caffeinated runs feel that way to start. (On weekends I start my day with decaf tea because I know I'll be drinking more regular strength coffee than I usually do - at work I switch to decaf coffee.) I also entertained myself by looking at the different parkways as I passed. We'd like to do more with ours and I've been collecting ideas as I'm out and about in the city.

Miles three through five felt more energetic. I took my gel at mile four - Hammer Apple Cinnamon flavor. It was chilled from the air and felt refreshing and really tasty - not words I usually think of with gels. But I like the Hammer brand. At mile five I started to get a little tired so turned on my iPod and was treated to a whole bunch of Prince for the rest of the way. That was also nice. It was a gray, chilly morning and I saw very few people on my route, so it was just me and Prince, hanging out together under the cherry moon. A lot worse ways to spend an early Saturday morning.

I felt pretty good the rest of the way, made sure to stretch thoroughly when I got home and to put my feet up later in the day, and had no soreness the next day. So I think, barring any odd problems, I should be okay with the remaining long runs before the Soldier Field 10M and with the race itself, as long as I keep taking things nice and easy.

With relief,
Annie

What's Next

The weeks of short runs have shown me that I'm quite content to keep doing that for a while, in fact, it sounds like an awfully good plan for this year. I'd like to see if I can get faster so I've been thinking about finding a couple more 5Ks that I can train for, maybe one in late summer and one in late fall.

However, I did sign up for the Soldier Field 10M on Memorial Day weekend back at the beginning of March in a fit of optimism. Back then I was back up to 6 miles in my Saturday long runs... unfortunately I've barely run any farther than that since then.

For several weeks I toyed with the idea of just not doing it so I wouldn't have to worry about those long runs (it's also a drag having to worry about getting back by a certain time so the kids don't wake up The Dude, whether on purpose or through just being very ACTIVE). But as I've been feeling a bit better it just feels a shame to miss it, I do like that race even if I'm not able to race it. So I will make a stab at it after all, starting with a planned 8-miler tomorrow morning.

With lots of walk breaks.

And enough fuel.

And good tunes.

Wish me luck (and no rain) -

Annie