Some Questions I Have Been Pondering

One of the most influential books I have read this year (or started, rather, I haven't finished it yet) is Mark Labberton's "The Dangerous Act of Loving Your Neighbor: Seeing Others Through the Eyes of Jesus". I've been working my way through it since shortly before Lent as a way of grounding and strengthening my commitment to address child abuse and related injustice, particularly the more brutal aspects of it, since I was finding that it was very easy to want to close my eyes again, and I didn't want to do that.

The book is set up as a series of short essays and reflective questions around the themes of paying attention, seeing, naming, and acting. It's slow going on my part, but it's definitely been illuminating. Here are some of the questions that I've found particularly meaningful.

How does your life's momentum affect your capacity for empathy: entering into the lives and needs of others, especially those who have no tie or evident benefit to you? Notice today or this week the time and energy you devote to engage with the needs of others. What does empathy cost you? (p. 46)

What moments or circumstances expose your distance, fear, rejection, anger, prejudice, or dislike of "they"? Why do these responses seem natural and justified? What experiences or voices in your life have contributed to that? (p. 51)

Do you invest energy daily in avoiding problems or pain? What does this lead you to see in your heart? Who is someone you know who does a good job of stepping towards the needs of others? (p. 53)

Sight is how you see. Vision is how you see and your interpretation of what you see. What factors most significantly affect your vision of people around you? Of people in need? Of global suffering? Of individuals who are victims or violence and oppression? (p. 78)

I expect it will take me the rest of the year to work my way through this book but I am grateful to have found it.

Answering a Question I Don't Know How to Ask

...We will go before God to be judged, and God will ask:

“Where are your wounds?”

We will answer, “We have no wounds.”

God will ask: “Was there nothing worth fighting for?”

--- Rev. Allan Aubrey Boesak, South Africa

Must. Always. Stretch. After. Running.

Had a hard run this morning, I was in a hurry after my Monday run and didn't stretch that day --- it didn't seem to affect me in my regular activities or in my swim, but boy did I notice today. About 5 minutes in my right quad (thigh muscle) felt tight, hard even, and painful, and I had to keep stopping, walking a bit, and then starting up again. I tried running slower, I tried switching to the other side of the street (don't laugh, those of you who don't run, the slope of the sidewalk can make a difference with these things), and it wasn't until I got about a mile and a half in that I thought to stretch. Problem solved. I made sure to stretch my trouble spots when I got home, for sure.

The other thing I have to watch out for these days... peeing. Namely, that going too fast, or going too vigorously downhill, sets off a need to pee that is unignorable, and I'm typically able to ignore such things (when running). I've been running routes that bring me by decent public restrooms, though the last few weeks I've only had to make use of them during the first half of my run, then I'm fine. But no, today I had to take one descent a little too quickly... luckily I knew my yoga place was open that early and they kindly let me come in and use the facilities. I have to remember, speed is beside the point these days, it's just about going the distance (and enjoying myself in the process).

Sweet Pea is beginning to add commentary to my activities... kick, kick, kick, just like Buddy... but why right before bed?

Expanding Boundaries

Today I like this article, on why black men should be feminists (written by a black man).

My reading about exploitation of youth/children has led me to read more deeply about 18-19th century slavery and the civil rights movement, so I would say, much like the author eventually came to see how oppression of women affects him, I'm also coming to a deeper understanding of racism and how it perpetuates itself in ways I wouldn't have thought were specifically "racist". All these forms of injustice tie together --- we come the larger question of human injustice through our own personal touchpoints.

Thanks to Blue Milk for posting the article.

Oh, Yeah

So, another reason why I haven't written so much over the last few months is that I'm pregnant. And frankly, the first couple of months sucked. And even once I started to feel better, about a month ago, it was still too early to feel comfortable telling people.

Obviously that's no longer the case.

I've kept running throughout, though not without a lot of changes. No more speedwork, for one. Long runs now have me stopping every two miles for a water and walk break. Recovery takes a lot more time, so I'm not doing quite as many long or hard runs as I'd like. And in the last week or so I've started needed to pee --- badly, painfully --- within 10 minutes of starting my run, even if I hit the facilities just before hitting the sidewalks. Dragsville, I tell you.

(Swimming has actually been even more frustrating, but that's a post for another day.)

I mention it now because I actually am running a major event tomorrow, the Soldier Field 10M, and at this point it's ridiculous to write about a race without including that essential piece of information. I do have a friend I am running it with, much to The Dude's relief, and a sensible plan. (Oh, and I've run my current running practice past my nurse-midwife, and she gives it the thumbs-up, as long as I make sure to STAY HYDRATED.) I had hopes of being able to pick up the pace at mile 6 if I was feeling spry, but I've been staying up way too late the last couple of nights reading, so I'm not currently optimistic about that part of my plan. Oh well. Strictly speaking, since I've never run this distance in a race before, whatever I do will be a PR. But really I just wanted the opportunity to keep training for something significant. That and the finishers medal, of course. I don't see why The Dude should get all the race day fun this year, just because I am bearing our second child.

And then, because I was "enjoying" my long runs in preparation for this event, I decided I wanted to keep training through the summer and do some fundraising to boot. So I am planning to run the Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon in August while raising money for Girls On The Run again, along with The Night Ministry. I'm actually holding off on registering for the race (since it's horribly expensive) until the last possible moment, just in case it becomes abundantly clear that it's not a good idea to attempt it --- I have, however, made my fundraising pledges already and am now committed to raising a set amount of funds. I'm trying to think of some good incentives to offer people --- I am open to suggestions.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Messy, Messy

Today I like:

"If you are messy right now, too, give yourself some grace. The mess might mean that we are actually going deep enough to elicit growth."
                    ~ from Kristin Armstrong's blog "Mile Markers"

More Hot Times Ahead

Today I do NOT like this:

An article in the New York Times about significant warming (and increasing precipitation) trends in Chicago.

Ugh.

It's embarrassing to admit that my second thought (after realizing I am just going to have to get used to running in heat and humidity) is that now I have even more impetus to shed some extra pounds and tone my upper arms (I believe I currently own one sleeveless shirt). Vanity, thy name is Anne.

On the other hand, Go Chicago! for looking ahead and starting to make necessary changes now.