Six Miles

Oh, how I've missed you. This is the distance at which I feel I am finally ready to begin something, the distance at which I actually feel confident in saying, yes, I am a runner. A nice easy six miles on a lazy Sunday, an intense six miles worth of intervals at the track or on the treadmill, a busy six miles for work days when I just have to do a little more but don't really have the time for it. And of course the wonderful six miles plus in a 10K --- long enough to feel worth investing time and money in a race, but short enough to not make too big a production out of it (or short enough to bust my gut on, should I feel so inclined).

I took my six today slowly, slowly, staying on main roads near bus routes in case I had misjudged this returning fitness thing. I ran it with a small pack so that I could end at the grocery store and library --- we have a major storm coming up and I don't expect to be able to run errands during the week. And since I had the day off (worked Saturday) I ran it knowing I could spend as much time stretching afterward as I might need to, as much time in a hot shower as I wanted, and as much time lolling around the apartment feeling absolutely glorious from having run my six miles. And I did, I did.

Blessed be the six-mile run, for you are perfect in all your many forms.

Studio Space

Oh, I dream about having a room of my own --- or at least a significant chunk of space where I can lay projects out and leave them there for a while.

In the meantime, some photos from the space I currently work in, which is a corner of our main room.

Actually, I'm blessed by good afternoon light, and a nice stretch of floor and our eating table to lay things out on when I'm working on them. I just have to always, always, put everything away again.

The center table is my "office" space, so I don't use that much for projects. Maybe not the best layout, now that I think about it, though of course all this has kind of just grown up and around my middle desk as I've been doing more with my hands. We plan to do a major re-org of our two front rooms soon, so these are good things for me to think about. 

And while I'm wishing, a bit of wall space would be nice too!

Ow, Ow, Ow

Hmmm, did something to my ribs and shoulder and now everything hurts. I don't remember being hugged by a bear. Decided to forego the gym and weights this morning and went for a run instead, hoping that once I warmed up I would feel fine. Nope --- anything deeper than a shallow breath hurts. Well, at least that kept me running as slowly as I should be right now. Best guess is that this is actually very delayed pain from my aggressive weight-lifting on Sunday, maybe made worse by the cold and an always-growing young imp.

It's been disheartening to see how slow I am right now, and how short my runs are. One would not believe that I'd run so much last year. So I'd hoped to do four miles today, my old route. But I changed things up to avoid running in the park (probably still icy), and in the end my USATF route tracker had me at 3.88 miles. Hrumpf. I also noticed that my ITB was a bit louder than it's been when running on the treadmill, even at higher speeds, so I think I need to keep all speedwork to the gym right now, and just slog out my long runs slowly. And be more compliant with my treatment plan (that is, actually follow one).

I did miss the pool today, a swim would have been just the thing for my poor upper body I think (slow steady stretching and letting the water massage me), but I need a new suit first.

Well, at least I'm running, and I got to run outside, and I have other options at the gym as well, now just down the street from me and with working machines. Keeping on.

Apologies and Insecurities

Half of me wants to go back and delete everything I've written here about art and not post again until I feel halfway proficient at something.

I look at my past work (mostly painting and drawing) and think, "How did I do that? No, really, how?" Such a mystery, how one mark against another resolves itself into something more.

And now I find myself mostly wanting to work in fabric --- quilting, embroidery, perhaps painting and printing too. A whole new world to feel insecure in.

Well, hopefully that last bit of self-pity is out now. One last spurt of "pardon-my-hubris-for-thinking-of-sharing-anything-at-all-and-go-gentle-on-me" before I participate in an online quilt group and start posting some of my other work.

What I've Been Doing (And Reading, And Thinking)

So what have I been doing over the last couple of months? Making gifts for people, mostly. Beaded bracelets (still in process),  card sets of quilt designs, and lots and lots of felt bird ornaments in different color combinations. And I still owe my husband a cover for his amp. (And photos, here, just waiting for time and good light to coincide.)

I do most of my sewing on the train, and the movement of my hand combined with the movement of the train and of the cityscape going by lends itself nicely to thinking...

about the question of "modern" quilting (this post is what really got me started on this), and how the word "modern" applied to painting has a pretty precise meaning which, despite my art history major, I don't know all that much about, which then sent me to the library...

and then my reading about the lives of artists has given me a better sense of the movements they were part of than any of my textbooks ever did, which makes me want to learn more...

but reading those lives shows me how little work I've actually done in my life and how ill-prepared I've been at any time to even contemplate trying to make a go of it professionally, either as an artist or off the arts.

Disheartening, yes. But at least now I've finally started, and while I don't have five hours a day to devote to becoming the next Gabrielle Münter, for example, I can spend five hours a week becoming the next me. (Oh, cheesy, I know, but still true.)

Recently read:

• Portrait of an Artist: A Biography of Georgia O'Keefe, by Laurie Lisle
• Tom and Jack: The Intertwined Lives of Thomas Hart Benton and Jackson Pollack, by Henry Adams
• Printing Fabric by Hand: Beginning Techniques, by Gisela Hein (this is so rudimentary that it's barely worth mentioning, I like the physical artifact more than anything else, some kind of odd 70's German nostalgia) 
• The American Quilt: A History of Cloth and Comfort 1750-1950, by Roderick Kiracofe & Mary Elizabeth Johnson 
• Handmade Living: A Fresh Take on Scandinavian Style, by Lotta Jansdotter

Leavened with memoirs and urban fantasy.

And currently on my reading table:

• The Revenge of Thomas Eakins, by Sidney Kirkpatrick
• How to Read a Modern Painting: Lessons from the Modern Masters, by Jon Thompson
• Basic Stitches of Embroidery: A Modern Approach, by Gisela Hein

And then many more goodies on my to-read shelf, thanks to Christmas presents and my own year-end book buying.

La, La, La!

It's been eight weeks since I ran without ITB pain.
It's been 5 weeks since I worked out in any form (not counting the literal running around and schlepping I've been doing for work). It's also been 5 weeks since I did any yoga.

I am stiff, I am slow, and I am sick (so out of breath), but today I went out and ran 3 miles (with walk breaks) and had no pain.

Hoorah!

So what have I been up to in the last eight weeks? Lots of work, lots of family, some being sick. Lots of sewing and other gift-making. Lots of thinking about how I want to use my time. Lots of reading about goal-setting and personal finance on the one hand, and modern art and quilting on the other.

I've identified some goals for the next year and I'll be writing about them soon, but for now I'm so happy to be back --- on my feet and online.

Happy New Year!