(Note to self: when you reply to blog posts written by people you REALLY REALLY admire and you ask a question, make sure you give it the proper context. Otherwise the answer might have you going, "but, I totally knew that, and now I look stupid in front of this person I REALLY REALLY admire, and it's not a real conversation so there's no point in going back and trying to explain or defend or whatever". 'Cause it really isn't worth going back to it.)
Nope. I just got to sit with feeling stupid for a while. But it got me thinking about stuff I've been learning in the anti-racism trainings/study I've been doing, how one aspect of dominant white culture is the need to not be wrong. And how that can lead to all sorts of really ugly behavior, in some cases (ahem, our current president).
In my case it leads to not speaking up. To not asking questions. To not taking risks.
And thus to not being there, for myself or for my friends or for, oh, the world.
Ugh.
So, one of the things I'm actively working on is to go ahead and take risks in what I say. Which means learning to be comfortable with not being comfortable.
Even if that means sitting around feeling stupid for a while. And not acting/reacting in response to it. Because you know what? It's just a feeling. And I'll be fine.
Always learning,
Annie
*There's lots more I could say about this but I think these two posts cover it well.
- How to survive in intersectional feminist spaces 101.
- So you think you know a thing: Feministing 201.
Trying to follow all this as the "rich white lady" in my own society. It will take a very long time and a lot of effort by a great many people for all this to permeate here.
ReplyDelete