Monday, October 23, 2017

Did A Marathon Thing This Month

So, a recap. This was my fourth Chicago Marathon, and my fifth overall.

The first 8 miles were good. I followed my plan of 4:2 run/walk and that was comfortable, I felt I could keep going just fine. The pace allowed me to eat and drink as I needed to easily, and also gave me a chance to cool down each time I walked. I knew it would get hotter as the day went on so that was important.

And then, suddenly, my left ankle twinged. Loudly. Angrily. The same feeling it had given me six weeks before. Back then that pain wasn't what had stopped me (the foot bruising on my right foot was the ultimate culprit), but I recognized it immediately. I kept going, cautiously, but within a mile things were much worse.

Excruciating, in fact. Make me cry kind of pain. It was clear I wouldn't be able to continue for another 17 miles. I stopped. Hobbled forward. Stopped. Texted The Dude to let him know I was calling it. Just like that, my marathon was over.

Except I wasn't willing to wait at the side of the road, so I kept limping on to the next aid station. Only it didn't come. I kept going, stopping from time to time to rest, rotate my foot, start again. I reached the Gatorade/water area and asked about the aid station only to be told it was past all the drink stands, so I kept going...

And somewhere between the beginning of the water area and the end I realized my foot didn't hurt as much as it had been. In fact, enough so that I didn't look for the aid station and decided to go just a little bit farther.

After all, it felt lame to only be out there for two hours. Could I possibly do 3? Four? Could I get to 10 miles? Eleven? A half? Or even 16 (the length of my longest runs to that point and the place where I'd sometimes had trouble in past marathons)?

And underlying all that, I remembered what an online friend had written me early that morning:

I woke up thinking about you. Today is going to be a very good day because you will be open to possibilities- and I know in my heart that you will be a blessing to someone else on the course today, simply by being YOU.

Well. If Laurie thought I would be a blessing to someone - but I didn't know where, or how, or when - then I needed to stay out there on the course for as long as I possibly could.

I put on a podcast and kept walking.

I was resigned to not finishing - I figured I was going so slowly I would get scooped off the course when they needed to shut it down. But that was okay. That was out of my hands. All I could do was keep walking, and so I did.

At about mile 15 I thought I might try to run a little, walking was getting tiresome. Keeping my feet very low I tried a little shuffle run - and it was okay. So from there I ran a little (shuffled a little), walked some. Shuffled a little, walked some. Made sure I was still taking in enough to eat, to drink, taking my salt tabs.

I had never been so aware of the course as this time and it was glorious. In the past I had remembered some parts of it as being bare. Desolate, even, and I kept looking for that and couldn't find it. All along the way there was something to see, to remark on, to enjoy. I recognized people on the course - passing them, being passed by them - more so than ever before. This was a whole new marathon.

At some point I realized I could probably do it. My God, I'd already endured 10 miserable miles, what was another 8 really? And with each mile it became more and more within my grasp, even the possibility of finishing within the cutoff.

Make no mistake, this was rough. Painful. Tiresome. Hot. (I was doing okay on food, but I spent easily the last eight miles fantasizing about a cold Coke.)

And then it was 20 miles and I thought, okay, this is going to happen. Then 22, 24, and then there was the turn and the rise and the last stretch and I was done. Despite the pain, despite my disbelief.

And in (almost ) all my photos from the course, I am smiling.

Six hours and thirty-six minutes. Over the allotted time, so not an official finisher. But. I have my medal. I know what I did and what it took. And I wouldn't change anything about it.

Yours,
Annie

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Books of Long Ago

Don't feel quite ready to write about the marathon, but my mind has been full of books lately - ones I've read, ones I'm reading, the one I'm working on. A while back I started a list of my top books from 2016 and then never finished it - here you go.

A word on how I chose these books. I read a fair bit. Poetry, literary fiction, nonfiction, graphic novels, urban fantasy, and at the top of my list, romance. For a book to make my top 10, rather than just receive a star in my book journal, it has be not only well-written and make me think, but it has to haunt me, to weave itself around my soul in some way so I can't forget it. These are books I might not be willing to lend out, and I'm usually pretty free in sharing.

So, in the order in which I read them, my favorite books of last year.

Voyage of the Sable Venus, by Robin Coste Lewis (poetry)
Voyage of the Sable Venus: and Other Poems by [Lewis, Robin Coste]

Difficult subjects, told beautifully. Each of these poems a story, complete in itself, but together a voyage.


American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
American Gods: The Tenth Anniversary Edition: A Novel by [Gaiman, Neil]

Rich, tender, fascinating. A lot of the same sort of material as in his Sandman series but I felt done even better (or I may just like the format more).



Wrenching yet also poetic, and totally mind-blowing.


World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by [Brooks, Max]

This book amazed me. It was chilling and compelling and utterly believable. I kept being drawn on and on into it.


Glitterland by Alexis Hall
Glitterland (Spires Book 1) by [Hall, Alexis]

Oh, this just pulled me in, the language, the characters, the situations. I loved watching them change and develop, was impressed with the depiction of anxiety and the aftermath of depression and how they both kept fighting forward. (Plus super hot, of course, as all his are.)


Signs Preceding the End of the World by [Herrera, Yuri]

There was so much packed in to this book, such inventive use of language while still absolutely, beautifully readable. (And an interesting translator's note at the end.) Dreamlike, haunting as a dream will, and also haunting knowing what we do about border policies.
      

Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya

Oh my God, what a treat to find these in this edition. I started reading this series years ago, before it was done, and got overwhelmed with how many volumes there were to it. Still a bit overwhelming (there are 12 thick books of this and I'm about 2/3 through), but so worth it. The marriage of the story and the art - how there is so much unsaid that can be hinted at instead. Glorious.


Citizen: An American Lyric by Claudine Rankine (poetry)
Citizen: An American Lyric by [Rankine, Claudia]
Brutal truths, an incredible weaving together of the personal and the metaphysical. The form as jarring as the material yet perfect.


Duma Key by Stephen King
Duma Key: A Novel by [King, Stephen]

This was good, good, good, and then it got great. One of my favorites of his.


Sexing the Cherry by Jeannette Winterson
Sexing the Cherry (Winterson, Jeanette) by [Winterson, Jeanette]

How did I even think I understood this when I read it before (in college)? I don't think I did, I think I read it back then for the characters and the transgression of it, but certainly I didn't come close to understanding a fraction of what is going on. And of course her language is sumptuous.


Books in the running for top 10 of 2017? Though I read so much romance now it only makes sense to have a top 10 romance and a top 10 everything else.

Romance
   Pansies by Alexis Hall
   K. J. Charles - all of them!
   Burnt Toast B&B by Heidi Belleau
   A Boy Called Cin by Cecil Wilde
   Save of the Game by Avon Gale
   The Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian

Everything Else
   Extracting the Stone of Madness by Alejandra Pizarnik
   Trash by Dorothy Allison
   Underground Airlines by Ben Winters
   The Romantic Dogs by Roberto Bolano
   Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova
   The Vegetarian by Han Kang
   Thorn by Intisar Khanani

We'll see if these end up getting knocked out by others as I keep reading.

Happy reading,
Annie


Friday, October 13, 2017

It's The Return Of Scary Movie Month!

Marathon or no marathon, it's October and that means it's time for Scary Movie Month, where The Dude and I attempt to watch as many scary movies as we can possibly fit in.

This year I left the selection in The Dude's hands, I didn't much care what we watched - my mind was first taken up with the marathon and now with preparing for NaNoWriMo. Especially when we only ever see a fraction of what we want to anyway.

We always have some TV show as a fallback, for those nights when we sit down too late to watch a whole movie or one of us needs to go to bed early or when the movie up next isn't one we can reasonably split over two nights. This year that fallback is the third season of Buffy. I saw most of this season years ago by myself, up late with a colicky D, and once you get over the angst of the first few episodes it's one of my favorite seasons. So we've been working our way through that. Though I will say the older I get the less I enjoy it, I get too cranky about the immaturity on display.

Our first movie for the month was Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo, we try to get one Hitchcock in every year. A classic, of course. I last saw this decades ago on a small black-and-white set in our kitchen - I hadn't even realized this movie was in color. Watching it now I was struck by just how creepy it is, there's behavior that is portrayed as matter-of-fact for that time period that would have red flags going up all over the place now. Brrr. But watching this made me want to visit San Francisco, for sure.

Then, spread out over three nights, David Fincher's Zodiac. There's a great article here with more about the film and why it might be considered his masterpiece.I'll just say that it was really hard to stop watching each night - it's put together so well and the performances are so compelling. I almost feel ready to start watching it again.

We gave ourselves a night off after the marathon to watch the Bears lose to the Vikings, and then watched Jordan Peele's Get Out. I'm trying to think how to respond to it without cursing in appreciation. It is so scary - in so many ways - and so well made - and so interesting, especially from a horror movie perspective - I just feel kind of dumbfounded. And I don't want to say anything that would give anything away or that would discourage anyone from seeing it. So, see it! And then we can talk.

I've been using this month to work through my to-be-read list for fantasy as well. So far I've finished the first book of Zoraida Córdova's The Vicious Deep trilogy (and just got the next two in the mail), and am almost done with Nnedi Okorafor's Akaba Witch. In theory I'm also working on the 2nd and 3rd volumes of Stephen King's Dark Tower series as well, but I have no expectation that I will finish those this month. I'm finding that series interesting but not as compelling as other books I'm reading or even other Stephen King I've read, so they're out and at hand if I've got some time to read and don't want to pick up a book that will be hard to put down, but not my first choice if I'm settling down for the evening. I'll be happy if I get through them by the end of the year.

Loving the cooler weather and dark evenings -
Annie

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Got A Marathon Thing Tomorrow

My iPod is loaded with podcasts, playlists, and albums.

My race vest is loaded with fuel.

My gear bag is loaded with clothes for after.

I've slept as much as I can this week, am as carbo-loaded as I can stand.

And I raised all the money I needed to.

Physically I'm probably in the worst shape I've ever been heading into this - mentally I'm probably in the best.

So wish me luck and we'll see what I can do!

Eagerly,
Annie